One of my readers sent me this cute little icon. I forgot where she got it -- but it's so CUTE! I think it's built with one of those icon builders.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
New photo
One of my readers sent me this cute little icon. I forgot where she got it -- but it's so CUTE! I think it's built with one of those icon builders.
Nobody does it but Lulu
Sadly enough, my work with the download site Wowio did not pan out.
The site stiffed Smashout Comics for several thousand dollars, and so Smashout couldn't pay me. This was not Smashout's fault. They can't pass on what they didn't get.
So far, the only dependable, cheap way to order downloads for my books has proven to be at Lulu. The prices are never above 96 cents for any download.
The update on downloadables:
Booksurge lost that ability several years ago.
Mobipocket is insanely complicated, and the downloads cost the customer as much as the hardbacks (what's up with THAT?).
Clickwheel and Magwheel have lots of enthusiasm, but they're not up and running yet, not really.
Wowio is unreliable and can't keep up payments.
I haven't tried loading comics on Amazon's Kindle yet. I'll have to get at that next. Maybe. I haven't even looked at their prices yet.
Sigh. The longer I spend working with distribution and getting it fixed for the future, the farther off goes my working on my books.
I wish I could exchange reliable help on that for books or art. I'm just going to concentrate on Lulu -- they're the only working site that never fails or changes, and pays every time, without fiddling around, or losing the banking or Paypal payment information.
(And don't come on here and argue with me if you've only ever used one site, and don't know from anybody else.)
The site stiffed Smashout Comics for several thousand dollars, and so Smashout couldn't pay me. This was not Smashout's fault. They can't pass on what they didn't get.
So far, the only dependable, cheap way to order downloads for my books has proven to be at Lulu. The prices are never above 96 cents for any download.
The update on downloadables:
Booksurge lost that ability several years ago.
Mobipocket is insanely complicated, and the downloads cost the customer as much as the hardbacks (what's up with THAT?).
Clickwheel and Magwheel have lots of enthusiasm, but they're not up and running yet, not really.
Wowio is unreliable and can't keep up payments.
I haven't tried loading comics on Amazon's Kindle yet. I'll have to get at that next. Maybe. I haven't even looked at their prices yet.
Sigh. The longer I spend working with distribution and getting it fixed for the future, the farther off goes my working on my books.
I wish I could exchange reliable help on that for books or art. I'm just going to concentrate on Lulu -- they're the only working site that never fails or changes, and pays every time, without fiddling around, or losing the banking or Paypal payment information.
(And don't come on here and argue with me if you've only ever used one site, and don't know from anybody else.)
Friday, October 31, 2008
Readers are not family.
I wasn't trying to be mean to anybody in the last post, but it has to be said: as a writer, I have my own friends and family. I'm not writing to get more of them.
Writers and artists create to say what they think. If anybody relates to us, it will be between the ears.
A masseuse I formerly used ruined an entire, supposed-to-be relaxing session by bitching about her favorite musical artist. She'd written him an oozing fan letter, and he'd sent her back an (actually) signed photo and a form letter, thanking her very much for her interest, and telling her about upcoming gigs and releases.
She was furious. She'd expected a private communication, and she swore she'd never listen to him again.
The one who should have been furious was me -- I was paying for her to shut up and work my muscles so I could get back to work.
Instead, all I said was, "Look, he doesn't know you from Adam's off ox. He actually took the time to sign the photo and reply. And he let you in on how to share his life the only way you can expect. What are you so mad about? And get that spot behind my left shoulder."
I want to make it very clear -- without any hints or fibs -- that we don't want to be friends with our audiences, who have their own friends and families. We're not concerned with your personal life, and we don't want you to be concerned with ours.
However, if you MAKE us get involved in your personal life, we may start studying your features, writing down your meanest quotes, and twisting your name just a LITTLE bit....
Those announcements in books and films about the characters being based on no one are just legal lies. You may THINK you want that kind of fame, but if you write me something about the Desert Peach that includes the phrase "German faggot," you're not going to want to point it out to your Mom.
You may be mildly famous, but you won't want to admit it. It will be like the afterlife for a logger -- he gets a chain saw and gets plopped down in the middle of a clearcut.
For eternity.
Writers and artists create to say what they think. If anybody relates to us, it will be between the ears.
A masseuse I formerly used ruined an entire, supposed-to-be relaxing session by bitching about her favorite musical artist. She'd written him an oozing fan letter, and he'd sent her back an (actually) signed photo and a form letter, thanking her very much for her interest, and telling her about upcoming gigs and releases.
She was furious. She'd expected a private communication, and she swore she'd never listen to him again.
The one who should have been furious was me -- I was paying for her to shut up and work my muscles so I could get back to work.
Instead, all I said was, "Look, he doesn't know you from Adam's off ox. He actually took the time to sign the photo and reply. And he let you in on how to share his life the only way you can expect. What are you so mad about? And get that spot behind my left shoulder."
I want to make it very clear -- without any hints or fibs -- that we don't want to be friends with our audiences, who have their own friends and families. We're not concerned with your personal life, and we don't want you to be concerned with ours.
However, if you MAKE us get involved in your personal life, we may start studying your features, writing down your meanest quotes, and twisting your name just a LITTLE bit....
Those announcements in books and films about the characters being based on no one are just legal lies. You may THINK you want that kind of fame, but if you write me something about the Desert Peach that includes the phrase "German faggot," you're not going to want to point it out to your Mom.
You may be mildly famous, but you won't want to admit it. It will be like the afterlife for a logger -- he gets a chain saw and gets plopped down in the middle of a clearcut.
For eternity.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The Crazy Season
I've been having a bit of a problem lately with crazies.
Regardless of the situation, it's mostly about guys who perceive me as blowing them off, arguing with them, or not paying enough attention to their personal problems. To these guys, the whole world is a singles bar and the girl just turned her head away.
The usual hint is that they call me "heartless." Which sounds like that guy thing of claiming women have "torn their hearts out."
I don't have to be nice to everybody. If somebody gets asshole with me, I get asshole with them. It sometimes takes some work, but sooner or later I put a filter on my email program for their email.
I have the world's nicest, smartest readers. No, I'm not kidding. They're politically aware, and work very hard to make the world a better place. The nut-cases usually don't buy anything anyway -- they just want mommy's attention.
Why they think a writer will put up with them is beyond me. We're the ones with the thesaurus -- and all the swear-words.
I've tried to tell people that the best writers aren't necessarily the nicest people. Swearing, drinking, throwing shirts out the window, cheating, lying, staying at their friends' houses and stealing their dogs and their drugs -- artists and writers have done it all.
But I don't think anybody hires us for our personalities.
Regardless of the situation, it's mostly about guys who perceive me as blowing them off, arguing with them, or not paying enough attention to their personal problems. To these guys, the whole world is a singles bar and the girl just turned her head away.
The usual hint is that they call me "heartless." Which sounds like that guy thing of claiming women have "torn their hearts out."
I don't have to be nice to everybody. If somebody gets asshole with me, I get asshole with them. It sometimes takes some work, but sooner or later I put a filter on my email program for their email.
I have the world's nicest, smartest readers. No, I'm not kidding. They're politically aware, and work very hard to make the world a better place. The nut-cases usually don't buy anything anyway -- they just want mommy's attention.
Why they think a writer will put up with them is beyond me. We're the ones with the thesaurus -- and all the swear-words.
I've tried to tell people that the best writers aren't necessarily the nicest people. Swearing, drinking, throwing shirts out the window, cheating, lying, staying at their friends' houses and stealing their dogs and their drugs -- artists and writers have done it all.
But I don't think anybody hires us for our personalities.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
My Art Site Moved!
My new art site is at Gather. Look in "Photos" for the Nice album -- and the Naughty album.
You're grownups. If you look in the Naughty album, it's your own fault if you have to chase your eyeballs across the floor.
I think I may stay with Gather as a place to put my art. DeviantArt makes me pay money, as does Flickr. And Gather has a more professional tone.
You're grownups. If you look in the Naughty album, it's your own fault if you have to chase your eyeballs across the floor.
I think I may stay with Gather as a place to put my art. DeviantArt makes me pay money, as does Flickr. And Gather has a more professional tone.
Monday, October 20, 2008
The Smell Of Email In The Morning
The first order of business in the am is answering the email. Most of it is business, but then there's FXcuisine, which leads to my making comments like this, proving once again how full of anything about everything an author's mind is:
"Yum! "Magenbrot" literally means "stomach bread." We're always told to use herbs and spices as an aide to digestion -- and the Germanic countries turned them into goodies.
It's hilarious watching Americans socking down Jaegermeister as a cocktail, when it's really a digestive aide and cough syrup!
(The little poem on the bottle goes:
"Das ist des Jaegers Ehrenschild,
dass er beschuetzt und hegt sein Wild,
weidmannisch jagt, wie sich's gehoert,
den Schoepfer in Geschopfe ehrt."
"It is the hunter's shield of honor,
that he protects and cares for his game,
sportingly hunts, as is proper,
honoring the Creator in (His) creation.")"
I've been accused of "knowing everything" up here (not always a compliment in a rural area -- I grew up in one). A guy who lives on Eagle Point asked:
"Do you know where the motorcycle gangs came from?"
"The ones in the fifties? Those were those soldiers let loose after the war."
"Damn! You DO know everything!"
He told me one of the reasons the young men of his generation were so eager to go to world war two was because they'd been promised the women of Europe and America -- grateful -- and the women of Germany and Japan -- forced.
Me: "Hell, that explains that photo of the sailor and the nurse!"
"Yup," he said. "They said we could have all the women."
I guess since rape in war has been made a war crime, that kind of explains one of the reasons war ain't so popular any more.
Beware of learning to write. You end up with a head full of detritus.
Ask Mary Roach. I recently read her Spook, about the search for proof of the afterlife. She says she starts out knowing NOTHING about the subject she's chosen to write about, and all the way through points out her "d'uh!" moments. In a world where most writers are poor attempts to imitate Hemingway, or poets who think they are Karouac (SAVE me from the ticky-tacky poetry rhythm readings* about somebody's dead mother!), Roach's style is erudite, breezy, intense and hilarious. She's like John McPhee with a sense of humor.
Highly recommended, btw. I haven't yet read her Stiff or Bonk (oh, just guess what THOSE are about).
(*I once cleaned that weird, jerky reading style out of a poetry reading meeting by using it for the ingredients from a bottle of cat shampoo. Every single meeting people brought it up again.)
"Yum! "Magenbrot" literally means "stomach bread." We're always told to use herbs and spices as an aide to digestion -- and the Germanic countries turned them into goodies.
It's hilarious watching Americans socking down Jaegermeister as a cocktail, when it's really a digestive aide and cough syrup!
(The little poem on the bottle goes:
"Das ist des Jaegers Ehrenschild,
dass er beschuetzt und hegt sein Wild,
weidmannisch jagt, wie sich's gehoert,
den Schoepfer in Geschopfe ehrt."
"It is the hunter's shield of honor,
that he protects and cares for his game,
sportingly hunts, as is proper,
honoring the Creator in (His) creation.")"
I've been accused of "knowing everything" up here (not always a compliment in a rural area -- I grew up in one). A guy who lives on Eagle Point asked:
"Do you know where the motorcycle gangs came from?"
"The ones in the fifties? Those were those soldiers let loose after the war."
"Damn! You DO know everything!"
He told me one of the reasons the young men of his generation were so eager to go to world war two was because they'd been promised the women of Europe and America -- grateful -- and the women of Germany and Japan -- forced.
Me: "Hell, that explains that photo of the sailor and the nurse!"
"Yup," he said. "They said we could have all the women."
I guess since rape in war has been made a war crime, that kind of explains one of the reasons war ain't so popular any more.
Beware of learning to write. You end up with a head full of detritus.
Ask Mary Roach. I recently read her Spook, about the search for proof of the afterlife. She says she starts out knowing NOTHING about the subject she's chosen to write about, and all the way through points out her "d'uh!" moments. In a world where most writers are poor attempts to imitate Hemingway, or poets who think they are Karouac (SAVE me from the ticky-tacky poetry rhythm readings* about somebody's dead mother!), Roach's style is erudite, breezy, intense and hilarious. She's like John McPhee with a sense of humor.
Highly recommended, btw. I haven't yet read her Stiff or Bonk (oh, just guess what THOSE are about).
(*I once cleaned that weird, jerky reading style out of a poetry reading meeting by using it for the ingredients from a bottle of cat shampoo. Every single meeting people brought it up again.)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Most Common Customer Questions About My Books
1. Am I old enough to read this?
Answer: If you're under 18, you probably won't get it; it's full
of stupid adult tricks. If your mom will let you have it, you
may buy it (save it for when you're older).
2. Will I like this?
Answer: If you like to think, yes. Most of the references are
explained. If you need more details, hit the library and the 'Net.
Caution: you may end up with the urge to take German classes (it
has happened before).
3. Which book will I like?
Answer: Choose the cover you like. The author was in the
same mood when she created the inside pages.
4. What's The Desert Peach about?
Answer: An historical fiction following the Desert Fox's fictional
gay brother (not the real one).
5. What's STINZ about?
Answer: An historical fantasy based on 19th century farming
life. The main character is a big black centaur stallion.
6. What's Bosom Enemies about?
Answer: People as horses, and horses as people. It has been
described by reviewers as an allegory of slavery.
7. What's Hader and the Colonel about?
Answer: Learning not to eat your friends.
Answer: If you're under 18, you probably won't get it; it's full
of stupid adult tricks. If your mom will let you have it, you
may buy it (save it for when you're older).
2. Will I like this?
Answer: If you like to think, yes. Most of the references are
explained. If you need more details, hit the library and the 'Net.
Caution: you may end up with the urge to take German classes (it
has happened before).
3. Which book will I like?
Answer: Choose the cover you like. The author was in the
same mood when she created the inside pages.
4. What's The Desert Peach about?
Answer: An historical fiction following the Desert Fox's fictional
gay brother (not the real one).
5. What's STINZ about?
Answer: An historical fantasy based on 19th century farming
life. The main character is a big black centaur stallion.
6. What's Bosom Enemies about?
Answer: People as horses, and horses as people. It has been
described by reviewers as an allegory of slavery.
7. What's Hader and the Colonel about?
Answer: Learning not to eat your friends.
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