Slamming the Gates -- Or Opening them.

I just sent this email to a bookstore in response to their youtube description of another funnel site (keeping authors going through one gateway):

"Hi -- I'm joining IndieBound.org at your Facebook (video) suggestion.

Now -- I love independent bookstores. But as an author, I can't afford to lock myself into one seller base. I use Lulu.com, Dimestoreproductions.com, Booksurge.com, Amazon -- whatever it takes.

Dimestore and Booksurge work to keep customer costs and carbon footprint down by direct ordering. A retailer can get POD books at near wholesale through Lulu or Booksurge.

However, any retailer that tries to funnel authors through one gateway -- and penalizes those authors for refusing to use only one gateway -- is going to find authors selling everywhere except that gateway -- and the one with the gate ends up being the only one behind it. Even Diamond Comics is figuring this out (say what you will about them, they're trying).

I WANT to keep small independent bookstores running. But can you use POD the way it was meant to be used -- without distributors, without returns and shredding?

I know Amazon makes you crazy -- but it fills a huge customer need. Indie bookstores worked with distributors to limit our customer contact and sales. Why go to your bookstore when they can only get it on Amazon? By using Lulu and Booksurge you can get the Amazon rates -- near wholesale -- without distribution or extra fees, or order limits. You can compete.

It's where it's going. Help keep indie bookstores strong by joining where the authors are going."

What a concept!

Another blog entry yanked out of an email. A reader contacted me about a children's charity book a colleague was putting together. I told the reader I had a few pages that had only appeared in a mini (I was going to say "very limited" mini, but that's a redundancy).

He wrote back saying the publisher would probably want original work, even if it did appear in a mini. I wrote back and said that if the guy wasn't paying, he should be on his knees to all the nice artists, crying, "Thank you! Thank you!"

The GALL of these people, putting together everything from charity books to 24-hour comics, and all of it riding on FREE work from artists. But do they ever think of putting together the cash first? Do they even look for an arts grant or get a LOAN?

The goddamn printer gets paid, and UPS, and everybody in the project -- including the PUBLISHER -- and who gets hung out doing it all for free? The people doing the most work! How the hell did THIS mess get started??

I'll give you one guess who's fault this is, for building the system -- even admitting it in his books -- but that would make too many little heads spin. Let's just say I get sick of being expected to paint bed-frames in a production line.

What a lot of people don't realize is you can get an author or artist to do ANYTHING -- if you just pay us!

What a concept! You get what you pay for! Are your heads spinning yet at such a revolutionary idea?

For example: Transformations (where I'm just storing the damn thing).

I don't LIKE writing TF -- but I get paid for it, and I'm good at it.

Here's another project I got paid for pretty nicely (but not enough for what they wanted) and don't want to do any more of:

Yaoi Hentai #4

Mostly because the publisher doesn't understand this: Artists' Rights.

So the next person who gets the idea to put together a nice little book, find a damn arts grant to pay the artists first, before making us do all this damn work, because you want to swan around at SDCC pretending to be a Publisher, with your own little stable of grateful scribblers.

Or are you just too butt-LAZY?

Loss Leaders

Dear retailers:

PLEASE put the left-over Desert Peaches and Stinzs and Afterdeads in the Bargain Boxes!!! Even better, if you get a damaged copy, don't waste time and money sending it back -- give it to a likely reader.

They run right back for $35 to $85 in books. But then, the savvy sellers amongst you already know that.

One of you had a badly-bound Desert Peach. You showed it to me and said you couldn't sell it. I quickly drew the Peach inside, blaming Udo for helping with the binding. On the white edge of the crooked page, I drew Udo saying it wasn't his fault, and he gets blamed for everything. A $15.00 book sold for $45.00 and the reader was happy to get it.

Don't be shy -- if you as a retailer get a damaged book, email me and show me a photo. I'll send you a nice big label with art on it to put inside the front cover. I'll send a personally-signed label to any reader who buys the improved book.

Readers, go tell your retailer about this.

No fair beating up the books just to get free art!

Keep The Artist Going

See the little "Donate" button over to the left?

Even if you don't plan to do anything with it, go look at it.

Future good things are coming, and that donate button may be the only way I'll get paid. I don't need a lot of money -- I knew this financial mess was coming, and I prepared for it with lifstyle -- but the less I have to earn running around taking pictures of local schoolkids or the dump or disarticulated feet, the more time I'll have to DRAW STORIES AND GET THEM TO MY READERS.

(Neat Paypal secret: mini-donations don't show up on the fee radar. Get in on it before they figure that out! They add up.)

Have I been Deluded?

I mean, more than usually.

There are at least TWO things my readers totally missed, or only just recently guessed:

1. When I was hinting like a mad thing that Udo was Jewish, NOBODY got it (okay, one friend in theater got it).

2. Only very recently has ONE reader (congrats!) asked me if I was extrapolating from Maus when I wrote Desert Peach #26, "Miki."

Spiegelman senior didn't tell Art the possible reason the girl might have told the officer to abandon the prisoners -- or the machine gun. Senior MIGHT have known -- he was around the German Army -- but we don't know, because he didn't seem to have told his son. A German girl came up to me at a show, tapped the figure of the girl on the cover and said, "This is my mother." Which wasn't very surprising; as usual, women and kids were in desperate situations at the end of a war.

I knew I wasn't far off a lot of repeated experiences when I wrote it; I've never been afraid of cliche. God is a lousy screen-writer, but It writes incredible comedy. I think It considers everything funny.

I don't really believe in Higher Powers, or if there is such a thing, it's as distant as Vishnu. I think I go with minor local spirits or daemons -- nyads and such. Ghosts, tutilary deities. A local boy who died, who loved to fish, I always invite along on fishing trips. It seems to make him happy. I get fish. I love spookiness and I hear things (it may just be mini-aneurisms, but leave me my nocturnal entertainment).

Spirits are very local, but they have influence and they talk to each other. You don't want to kill a bobcat in Washington State and then join the Army and get shipped to the Middle East, do you? Bastet will GET your ass; she lives right next door to the djinns.

The only things I know about the Spirits is: They either want Thanks, or Entertainment. So look up and say "Thank you" once in a while, or they will start to poke you, just to watch you squirm. They are like poorly-raised children, and we are their lizard in the road.

Another writer -- and dear friend and touring companion -- joins me in doing the aforesaid mini-prayer whenever something goes right while out traveling. We know it's either say "thank you" for the nice meal or the pretty trees -- or have both front tires go flat.

Because They love to hear us swear.

(Hey, I don't use my beliefs to keep anybody from marrying or stone anyone to death. And I help keep the incense industry going.)

Ve Know How To Make You Schtay On Schedule

This new schedule is working so good.

Computer: every day except Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. Makes it easier for the solar panel and battery to provide more of the power for the laptop.

Tuesday: Other art-related stuff.
Thursday: All that household crap that piles up.
Sunday: Day off. PERIOD.

4:00 pm: ALL activities stop except for art and writing. Unless I've got a reporting deadline, and those go fast.

Last night, I tore through 12 pages of roughs, giggling to myself. Leutnant Winzig has proven to have an activist bone. But it's not GAY rights he's fighting for; talk about whose ox is being gored. Neither he nor Erwin Rommel get Pfirsich -- who they of course don't know any more. It is driving Pfirsich crazy no longer being able to refer to anything he knows about them -- or that they should know about him.

He just found out what exactly he's supposed to being doing with Winzig and he's called a full strike. One more chance to draw the Barr Girls -- and their costumes.

The Barr writing method: lock the characters together into small spaces and occasionally throw in things for them to fight over. Oh, yeah, I'm a real hard worker, I am.

Nobody's safe

I remember how much fun I had with readers' ideas and suggestions.

I just swiped the phrase "a closet intellectual" from 2 posts ago for use in the story I'm working on now.

Working as a journalist up here, I always warn people they're talking to a reporter (I want a Borodino with a "Press" card in it!). But they still tell me everything and everything, and I have to ask them, "Is that a quote? Is that for the record?"

And no, we don't have to have your permission to print an interview. It's called "First Amendment." I try to be nice -- nobody's family needs to find out their 40-year-old secret -- but if it's relevant to a modern population's concerns or needs, in it goes. And yes, I have my biases and opinions. Anybody who claims they don't is just living in an illusion.

As I told a bunch of 8th-graders starting their own paper locally, when asked about the permission issue: "They're adults! Or your peers. They KNOW they're talking to a reporter."

The things people will say or do -- with a writer standing RIGHT THERE.