Monday, April 5, 2010

Broken Heart, Small Soul

This isn't going to do any good, but I have to do it anyway, because every once in a while I have to try again. It's worn a hard rut of sorrow in my heart, and at this point I know I'm never going to get over it.  So if you've run into me and found me snappish, narrow-minded and sour, read the title on this post.

Soon after he went missing, I dreamt he met me at the foot of a street going straight up from the west end of the Fremont bridge in Seattle.  There is no such street.  I've even checked a Fremont street in Bremerton, and a Fremont neighborhood in Tacoma.  Thinking of him the other day, and discovered there was a Fremont neighborhood in Las Vegas.

If you can tell me what happened to him -- and prove it -- it's $250.00 bucks for you.  If you can bring him back alive, it's $500.00. 

There.  I've got it out of my system for another session of weeks or years.  And don't tell me to Get Over It; a local poke-into-your-life wanna-be spiritualist leader told me "We (him and his just-as-bad partner) can cure grief and guilt."  He's lucky I didn't slap him silly on the spot.


Kate said...

I had a cat with a broken ear once too, though he was named before he got in the fight that broke it. The stoutest of cats, who lived with us till the end of his days, though he did occasionally go on walkabout until he as made an inside cat.

I am saying the Cat Prayer for Vincent. No, I wouldn't ever give it up either, and if I had been there with you those New Age thugs of healing would have probably learned a new Yoga pose.

Diana Kennedy said...

I will not tell you "get over it" because I know you will not. I have lost too much dearest cats and never knew what happened to them and it still hurts, after years.

I just hope that maybe, it will different for you and you will get news.

I don't give out any advice, but my conclusion of this problem was that I don't let the cats go out anymore. I will build them a cage on the yard so the can take sun and fresh air, but not more.

Donna Barr said...

You're both so right. We keep the cats in our new house (well, new since 2003). A little out time in the morning for the cats who stay home.

I don't expect to find Vincent again, or even evidence, but I just hadda post his picture.

This is one more reason I never had kids. If a cat could do this to me, a kid would have killed me. It's bad enough as it is.